Bringing The Reign: Why I changed my last name from Brazier to Reign

I've already blogged about why it is that I changed my name from Floyd Hadden to Justice Calo (See here if you missed it), however I have never felt comfortable speaking about why I changed my name from Brazier to Reign.  You see, I've always been very concerned with maintaining the family name.  While I used to joke and tell people that we owned the "Dairy Queen" brazier stores, that is not the reason Brazier is an important name.  

You may not know any Brazier's in Washington State, but if you are connected to the business community, or you are connected to the Republican Party, then you are very aware of my mother Bishop Elect, Nona Brazier.  Bishop Elect, Nona Brazier is a beautiful, intelligent, articulate black woman who's company helped pioneer curb-side recycling in Seattle, Wa, wrote the Federal Environmental Protection Laws for the country of Nigeria, and put her and at times her husband on the cover of business magazines and newspapers.  ***Martin, her husband was also very involved with the business, and was the reason the business even was able to get off the ground initially, however Bishop Elect, Nona Brazier, is the personality most recognized in the community with those successes, and in the political community.*** She sat on several White House Small Business Committees, and she was the first black women to chair the King County Republican Committee (King County is larger than a state or two.)  With the Brazier name, I have access to politicians and business people, and have doors that open for me all over the country and internationally.  

*** To be fair, I am currently out of relationship with my mother as well.  She is a stand-by-your-man kind of woman, and has chosen her husband over all of her own children.  Other members of my family have significantly different personal views of my mother and experiences with her.  According to both Bishop Elects Brazier, all of the kids need Jesus, and our estrangement has nothing to do with the manner in which they administered the household.*** 

So why on earth would I give up that name?  Well, there are really two reasons.  I say them not to be vindictive, but because it is the truth of my story, and for too long I have been concerned with maintaining the facade of a family image at the expense of my own personal healing and closure.  The two reasons are quite simply, because I do not want to be associated with the man who owns the rights to them, and secondly he asked me to give the name back.  

The Brazier name, in the case of my family, belongs to one Bishop Elect, Dr. Martin George Brazier, Sr. He is my step-father, adopted father, and head of an international ministry to take clean water to developing countries.  

      

Above you can see Bishop Elect, Dr. Martin George Brazier, Sr. with young kids in Cambodia, and the good work that the international ministry that he manages does.   Bishop Elect, Dr. Martin George Brazier, Sr., is the man that first taught me how to hurdle, taught me how to catch a football, told me that you play the game of sports with your "heart and your head", and who introduced me to the United States Air Force Academy.  I owe a lot to him.

As with all saints, Bishop Elect, Dr. Marting G. Brazier, Sr, is also a sinner.  He is allegedly (alleged by me) a physically and emotionally abusive tyrant to grow up with, and an admitted sexual predator; the victim being my sister.  (Molestation information - Public Record).  The video above, along with my entire memory of my past growing up, all becomes a little bit creepy when you've got the full story.  His emotional and physical abuses of me become no longer tolerable when I realize that I was not the only one being damaged by his inability to examine the ugly inside of him and deal with it in a healthy and productive way. 

Now I believe in the ability for people to change.  I have to.  We all have to.  We are all doomed if our transgressions from our past are always held against us in the present.  No one is perfect, everyone is both light and dark, and the striving must always be to defeat the dark in us so the light can shine through.  However, when the same patterns of behavior that were so hurtful to you and others are still being displayed today, and no move has been made to address them when they are brought to your attention, then you wonder how much change has really taken place.  You wonder how much does this person really care about those around them, and how much is them holding on to outdated defense mechanisms that now wreak havoc and terrorize those around you.  

You may not know this by my current pictures, but I was a part of the United States Air Force Academy's 1996 Conference Championship Football team.  I have a huge ring that we all received for being on that squad, and my step-father asked me for that ring.  I NEVER wanted to give it to him, but in true abusive form, I had to please him, and I gave him that ring.  In 2007 when I finally decided to part ways and never have Bishop Elect, Dr. Marting George Brazier, Sr. in my life again, I wanted my ring back, and sent him an email to get it back.  

here are the exact words of the emails.

sent : Wed 8/8/2007 11:26 AM

Floyd:  The best thing you can do for the society is to take a long walk off of a short cliff.   And please give back the Brazier and Hadden name and take the howell name which is the direction you are headed in.

 

From: Floyd Hadden Brazier
Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007 9:30 AM
To: 'Martin Brazier'
Subject: RE: Conference Ring

 

Please save your emotional manipulation for someone who chooses to succumb to it.  I don’t.  Goodbye!

 

Floyd Hadden Brazier

 

This message, together with any attachments, is intended only for use of the individual or entity to which it is addressed. It may contain information that is confidential and prohibited from disclosure. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination or copying of this message or any attachment is strictly prohibited. If you have received this message in error, please notify the original sender by telephone or by return email and delete this message, along with any attachments, from your computer. Thank You.

From: Martin Brazier 
Sent: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 6:44 PM
To: 'Floyd Hadden Brazier'
Subject: RE: Conference Ring

 

Mr. Floyd:  It appears that you desire to cut all of our ties, and if that’s the way you feel, so be it.  And Let It Be Done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

From: Floyd Hadden Brazier 
Sent: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 4:08 PM
To: 'Martin Brazier'
Subject: Conference Ring

 

I’d like my Conference Championship ring back.. Please send it to the address below along with an invoice for your postage and I will reimburse you for your expense..

 

Thank you.

So there you have it... Bishop Elect, Martin George Brazier, Sr.'s counsel to me, because I asked for my ring back, was to take my life, for the betterment of society, and give back his last name, as well as the last name of my Grandfather (Hadden.)  I wonder if the Bishop uses that same tenderness, concern and Christ-likeness in the course of his current ministry?  

And there you have it.  I will give up the luxury, that the name of Brazier affords me, to be true to myself, to be true to what I know love to be, and to be true to those around me.  I will give it to him though, once again he is helping me become a better person in this lifetime.  I REFUSE to let the hurts and pains I received at his hand cause me to wreak havoc on those I am there to protect, nurture and care for.  If I have to do the painfully hard, and equally ugly task of examining myself now, and dealing with ALL the ugly things in side of me, then I will.  It's such a hard process. To let go of your defense mechanisms and see that they only help you, and most often hurt everyone around you.  However, Bishop Elect, Dr., Martin G. Brazier, Sr., has showed me, there is no choice... but to do it! 


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Posted by Justice Calo Reign at Saturday, November 14, 2009 3:26 PM
Categories: Relationships,Personal Discovery,Love,Religion/Spirituality/Consciousness,Owning Your Emotions,autobiography,Family
Tags: Suicide hate Nona Brazier Martin G. Brazier I didn't know my own Strength Authenticity Sr. autobiography
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  • Saturday, November 14, 2009 8:43 PM JMB wrote:
    Hey brother... I struggled with the issue of changing my name while I was engaged, and more recently, when I found out we were having a boy (perpetuating the Brazier name)... much as I want to change it. This is why I go by Mr. B. while working in Tahoma Great blog.
    Reply to this

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