Sometimes bloggers are nasty.   I guess the anonymity really allows people tojust say some nasty nasty things about people.  I really worry for people sometime.  When we don't allow people their humanity; when we don't allow them to be imperfect souls, and we constantly condemn and judge them, we seal our own fate.  I'm not talking heaven or hell; I'm talking about the internal judgments that we form about ourselves.  I say all of that because I just heard a single of Whitney's new CD, I look to you entitled "I didn't know my own strength."  In a world where we have people who go on American Idol, thinking they can sing, but can't carry a tune; in a time when autotuneis the norm and not the exception, people are sitting there badmouthing Whitney Houston.  It reminds me of the preachers and politicians that condemn an act that they do in secret.  Their hate is a sore on their souls, and I hope they too can learn to pick themselves up and move forward.

Maybe it's because I've had my share of failures that I have nothing but love, admiration and faith in her.  I know that it's not hard to end up further down a path than you ever thought you'd be.  For many people it starts because reality is just too much for you too bear.  We may want to forget, or we may just want to numb the pain.  Regardless, it is effective in doing that, and sometimes it is actually pleasurable.  For me, the relationships around me seemed to grow, and that feeling of emotional pleasure and security made me overlook everything else that was going on.  Sometimes the pain is so great that you don't care that you're taking risks, because it might just be better than having to acknowledge the pain and do what it takes to heal the hurt and move forward.  Talk about Whitney all you want, and call her what you will, but the woman has balls the size of Miami, to wear her torment out in broad daylight for everyone to see. I am so grateful every day that my life was not filmed or written about.  How would you like your dirty laundry aired, and ridiculed for the world to see? 




They say misery loves company, maybe that's why people love to see negative things written and said about people. I know that when all of the videos began to air that showed Whitney in poor form, unhealthy, voice gone and presumably lost forever, I never watched it.  I didn't take any delight in it, because I knew that I was just as messy, and just as messed up in my life.  Maybe it wasn't theexact same way as Whitney, but any way you want to cut it, mess is mess ya'll.  Whitney was frank and open about the issues she was going through.  She didn't know you, so you don't get the juicy details, but it didn't take much to see she was hurting.  I've done some pretty ugly things in my life as a result of not knowing how to deal with hurt, and pain, and life.  Maybe that's why I root for her.  She hasn't done anything to anyone out there except for not sing up to the standards that she set, and no one else has come close to.  Whitney doesn't singas good as she did years ago, yet she still sings better than 90 percent of human beings on the earth.  Do we really deserve to judge her negatively? 

When Whitney came out with her last two albums, I was apprehensive about it.  Her voice was damaged, and yet she still put the CD out there.  I appreciated Whitney giving us glimpse of her tribulations.  She didn't use autotune, she put her voice out there for us to attack her.  She was unashamed of her life, it was hers to own and she did.   When I saw the Diane Sawyer interview, I saw a woman who is very much aware of the position she had herself in, and yet was struggling to find stability.  The understanding of your failed behavior is not enough to turn the situation around.  Neither is the decision to make a change in your life.  The problem lies in the habits and programming that you've setup for years and years that are now creating your problems on auto pilot. Instead of running off into the night, she stayed in the game,and stayed engaged with herself trying to slay all of her demons.  She did it all in front of us.

I've had some things I'd call successes in my life, but I have never reached a pinnacle of anything like she has.  When I see who she used to be, and I hear her young voice, I don't get mad at her, and I don't feel sad for her.  She lets me know that no one is immune to pain and hurt.  No one is immune to self-destructive behavior.  The woman who had a voice of angels, yes,even she is human.  It helps me not kick myself when I'm down.  I also see this woman getting back up, and doing what she has to do.  She's fighting back and instead of calling her a crackhead, or washed up or all the other disgusting things I hear strangers throwing into theuniverse, I encourage her. When I encourage her, and root for her, I am doing the same for myself.  All of her performance on her road back to health were attacked and ridiculed by so many people.  You tell me why this woman, who never has to prove her greatness to anyone would publicly go through the long journey of fighting to come back from where she was.  Maybe cause it means something for her to come back.   America is the most obese country in the world, and people can't find the personal strength and discipline to put down the snack and get their ass to the gym and slim down, but Whitney is required to be back immediately.?  When you get back down to the shape and weight you were in your prime, then come talk to me about Whitney and her voice and how it's not what it used to be.

I've always had a special connection to Whitney Houston.  She touches me when she sings.  She touches me in her searching for herself.  In her losing herself, in her losing her way, and in her fighting through all of the hate and expectations and coming back to a place where she is singing again.  Isee her as an example.  I appreciate her.  I have never lost faith in myself, regardless of my circumstances or situations, and maybe that's why it made it easy to never lose my faith in her.   Besides.. She still sounds beautiful.